My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
