she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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