how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize