Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
