I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
