just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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