guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
