I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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