i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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