On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
