I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
