how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
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