there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize