one word: firstdatebathroomanal
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
