I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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