We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
