Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
