dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
