dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
