party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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