walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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