I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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