His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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