I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
