porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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