But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
