Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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