Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
