Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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