is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
