It's Friday. Sex?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
