As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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