just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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