Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She told me I should be a condom model.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
