What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
