Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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