I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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