Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
