Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
