OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
