I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
