Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
