i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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