I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
