You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize