Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
