My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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