your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
