there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
