Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
