I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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