I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
