Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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