just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize