I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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