areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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