I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
