I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
