very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Someone came in the potted fern
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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