i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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