You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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