what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
