And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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