So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
