She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
