and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
