trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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