My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
